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HELPFUL HINTS IN LEADING DISCUSSIONS

As a small group leader, your role is that of a facilitator, not a teacher or lecturer. The goal of small groups is to have each member of the group feel they are accepted and can openly share their thoughts and ideas. You should strive to set a tone of warmth and acceptance by being positive and encouraging. Your small group will become a “home base” to its members, a place of love and honest sharing.

1. Ask one question at a time. Asking two questions at once confuses the issues and one or both questions will not be properly addressed.

2. Ask questions that are simple and clear. Does your question avoid complicated wording? Can it be easily understood and remembered?

3. Take advantage of silence. When you are waiting for a response, five seconds can seem like an eternity, but it does not to the people in the group. If you ask a good question, it will take people time to think of their responses. We have a tendency to jump in immediately with an answer or another question. Try not to answer your own question. If we are patient, it will give the group time for insight and thought. If silence continues, they may not understand your question. After a reasonable period, restate your question in another way.

4. Avoid dominating and taking too much control. The role of the facilitator is to draw out other people and to help them share. The optimal group situation is one where members can address each other directly with pertinent questions and feedback.

5. Participate in discussion yourself. Feel free to give your own opinions and feelings, when appropriate. Most likely this will happen after others have shared and if there is adequate time. At times you may share your own experiences and feelings to stimulate discussion when others are reluctant to start.

6. Give direction as needed. It is your role to give structure to the group. Let them know when to start, when to end, etc. Do not hesitate to jump in and influence the discussion when things are going off track. “This is very interesting, but I think we have left our topic. Maybe we could finish this at another time.”

7. Don’t allow the verbal person to monopolize. Avoid making eye contact with this person when asking a question or waiting for a response. Ask for new opinions. You can say something like, “Some of us have given many ideas. Let’s give an opportunity for some of the others to share.” In extreme cases, you may have to take the “monopolizer” aside and speak with them.

8. Encourage everyone to participate. Use eye contact to encourage others to talk (but don’t stare). After asking a question, you can say, “Let’s hear from some of the people who have not had the opportunity to share much yet.” If you sense that someone would like to say something but are hesitant, call on them by name. But never put anyone on the spot. Sometimes the silent person is listening intently and receiving much from the conversation, but may not be able to verbalize their ideas at that point.

9. Don’t force conversation. If people have discussed the relevant issues as far as they want to, close the group.

10. Accentuate the positive. “That’s an interesting point. I imagine there are varied opinions in this group. Does anyone else care to express their thoughts on the matter?” Or, “What do some of the rest of you think?”

11. Allow people personal space. When discussion turns to personal application or when sensitive issues are being discussed, some people may become very uncomfortable in revealing their true thoughts. No one should be forced into this.

12. Be aware of eye contact and body language. Your eye contact will dissuade or encourage someone to talk. Your body language will show your interest and enthusiasm. Being conscious of group member’s eye contact and body language will help you to determine if the group is discussing something helpful and of interest to all (even if it is not a designated question), or if the conversation is going off track and people are losing interest.

13. Ask open-ended questions. Some questions can be answered with a “yes” or “no,” or with only a few words. These are closed questions and can inhibit free discussion. An open-ended question often begins with “what” or “how,” and allows the group to respond with feelings and ideas that are important to them. (e.g., “What do you think about the speaker’s point that…” or, “How do you feel about…”) An open-ended question challenges the group to think and does not imply a bias. It puts responsibility on the group members rather than on the facilitator.

14. Spend time befriending the people in your group. Free time or breaks can be uncomfortable for those who know few people. Try to introduce them to others and show a personal interest in them. You may be responding to some deep psychological needs for security and for belonging.